Energy Hints from Mr. Gas

With Noe Valley facing serious power shortages, Mr. Gas has gathered several tips to help neighborhood residents conserve:
* Set the furnace thermostat to "off," and jump up and down.
* Wash only the parts of things that can actually be seen.
* Collect rainwater in saucepans and heat it when the sun comes out.
* Plug gaps around pipes and ducts with copies of the Examiner.
* Use low-wattage kleig lights when needed.
* Close the drapes at night to avoid an indecent exposure arrest.
* If you have a fireplace, you can burn your old utility bills.