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Men, Are You Ruthless? If so, I would like to meet you. Call 555-5505, and ask for Ruth.
Occasionally Grumpy Clown available for birthdays, bris, weddings, and funerals. Ask for Pinchy the Clown's neighborhood discount, 415-648-OUCH.
I Have Been Cleaning Noe Valley for 17 Years and it's still a mess. Why don't you people just pick up your trash for once? All I do is clean, clean, clean, and you never help out, I mean, I know you're soooo busy but would it kill you to pick up after yourself
Trite Aid. Are you surrounded by nitwits? Up to your ears in sentimental pap? Choking on drivel and driven mad by idiocy? Come join us. 7 p.m. Cutie Quilts 'n' Frogs and Things, 5601 24th Street.
Ferret Chasing Service of Noe Valley. Established in 1937. Bonded and insured. Will give your pet a run for your money. Please no stairs. Call 415-WEA-SELS.
Drive-Through Yoga. Learn your beginning yoga postures without leaving your vehicle. Advanced postures available only in vehicles with bench seats. Driver's window must be fully operable. 555-OMMM.
Need Junk? Sick of the minimalist existence? We can provide bona fide junk and bring it straight to your doorstep. Specializing in cat-shredded sofas, stained and slightly mildewed carpet remnants, dented appliances, and board games with a few missing pieces. Call 415-5555.
Kandahar Vacation Rental exclusive North Cave. Rustic accommodations, open floor plan, sleeps up to 100. Call 416-TORA-BORA.
There's No "I" in "Me." Identity crisis counseling with an emphasis on finding the "u" in "self," the "y" in "should," and all the "t" in "China."