Noe Valley Voice April 1999

Biological Clock Goes Cuckoo

During a recent test of the neighborhood's Y2K readiness, the Noe Emergency Response Department (NERD) accidentally discovered that the U.S. Biological Clock, located conveniently at Sanchez and 26th Street, has stopped ticking, possibly due to negligence on the part of neighborhood residents.

"I honestly forgot about it," said a red-faced Bob Conure, a member of the Jersey Street Watch Group, which was responsible for winding the clock for the month of March.

Once NERD scientists happened on the error, they theorized that it might cause the millennium to come sooner rather than later, or the population to explode exponentially, or a large elephant to come destroy the human race. "Anyway, we fixed it," said Lotta Crabtree, a pioneer member of the group.