Noe Valley Voice April 1998

Scientists Study Why Bread Falls On Buttered Side

By I Can't Believe It's Not Loren

Last month, scientists at Orowheat Labs began investigating why a piece of bread always falls on its buttered side.

"We were wondering if it's the same reason cats land on their feet," said Isaac Fig-Newton, author of The Unbearable Lightness of Ants.

The study involved 100 pieces of bread-- whole wheat and white -- and 100 cats of various temperaments, from limp to surly.

Assistants dropped each cat and each piece of bread from a two-story building on 24th Street. Scientists observed how each fell to the ground.

"Both the cats and the bread twisted around in midair so that the cats landed on their feet and the bread on the buttered side. We surmise it may have something to do with gravity. But further tests are warranted," said Fig-Newton.

He added that the next stage of the research would involve buttered cats.